A Page From My Journal

In Bolivia, I journaled every day to help myself process the experience. And as I re-read some of my entries, I feel as if I need to bear my soul a bit and share a couple of entries I wrote.

6/30/14

 I’ve been thinking a lot today about what to take away from my experiences with the Ayoré, and this Global Project. How am I becoming more like Christ? It’s definitely hard to be uncomfortable. It’s hard to sit with the girls and know they’re “making fun of me.” It’s hard working with a people group that are stuck in a cycle of injustice, but God’s transformational power hasn’t yet transformed their communities. It would be so much easier to stay in my comfortable home, with people I understand and love, and without having to get up super early or take cold showers or eat strange things or share my space with strangers. It would be easier…but is that living? Is that what Jesus called me to? I see women like Sandra, Mirtha, Cali, Toni, and so many more, who have sacrificed so much for the sake of the gospel. Who am I to give any less than them?

7/2/14

 I was thinking tonight about what it looks like to be a follower of Jesus. To serve, and wash feet, and live sacrificially, and love unconditionally. It’s a hard call. And the thing is, it’s not something you ‘sign up’ for. Signing your X on the line doesn’t automatically put you in line for heaven’s gates. Choosing to follow Jesus means sacrificing everything, giving your very life, for the sake of the One who is the only thing worth living, and losing everything, for. ‘Signing up’ doesn’t guarantee an easy life. In fact, choosing to follow Jesus means there is no way to prepare for the good or bad to come. But we put our faith in the One who created everything, and we know that His thoughts and ways are higher than ours, and He has a purpose for us that will give us so much more fulfillment than our own selfish desires ever could.

Please don't misinterpret what I mean: I don't believe in a works-based faith. But I do believe that the love and grace Christ offers me, and in light of the sacrifice He made for me by dying on a cross to pay the penalty for my sins, should compel me to serve Him wholeheartedly. It stems from His love for me, and me learning how to love like He does.

Matthew 16:25-26 "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."

-Jim Elliot