A Broken World

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It's not often that I blog. And when I do, I don't blog about national or global current events. It's easier to keep it strictly related to what's going on in my life. But today, I'm making an exception, because reading the stories coming from the Connecticut shooting and watching the news coverage is causing my heart to break. I cannot even imagine what those students, parents, teachers, friends and families are going through. I'm recalling memories of 8th grade when my own school faced the tragedy of two of my classmates dying in a car accident. The world may keep on turning, and although those not connected to the situation may stop for a moment or two to offer up a prayer or condolence, their lives quickly return back to the way they were, with routines and deadlines and everything in between. But for those directly affected by the tragedy, their worlds have come to a complete standstill, and sunny days have been replaced with stormy skies. 

I know it's not possible for me to fully grasp and understand the utter devastation that all those directly affected by this tragedy are facing, yet I can't help but try to put myself in the shoes of the students, and how terrified they must have felt when shots were ringing through the school, and even now as it sinks in that they'll never see certain friends again. Or the parents, after hearing that there were shots at their child's school, dropping everything to race to the scene, only to find that they are helpless to do anything except wait. These thoughts continue, and my eyes fill with tears as pain fills my heart.

Life is so fragile, and tragedies like this remind us of that. So often I take for granted the fact that I woke up that morning, or that I'm surrounded by family and friends who love and support me. All too suddenly, something like this can happen, and what then? The world is turned upside down. But the reminder that our time here on earth is limited also brings with it a sense of urgency to be spreading the gospel. This world needs Jesus, and it's never more evident than when evil such as this is so apparent. We are broken, and in need of a Savior.

But in the midst of all this, it's all too easy to blame God. In our heartbreak, we turn our tear filled eyes toward the heavens and cry, "Why? Why do innocent children have to die?" There is no simple answer to this. But I urge you not to allow this tragedy, this hurt, this evil to cause you to turn away from God, or point to this and say, "See? This is proof that God does not exist. A good, perfect, and loving God would not allow this to happen. He would not have allowed those children and teachers to die." The fact is, as a loving Father, God created us with free will, and we chose to disobey Him. We are the reason for sin in this world. God is the Supreme Good, and evil is the absence of good, just as dark is the absence of light. But the answer God provides for our suffering is not some abstract idea, since pain is not an abstract issue. The answer God provided was sending His own Son to experience this very same earth we do. To share in our struggles; to face rejection, grief, betrayal, and ultimately death on a cross as He bore the sins of the world. What we desire most when tragedy befalls us is not an explanation, but presence. That's why Jesus came as an infant, whose birthday we celebrate on Christmas. He lived, shared in our sufferings, was crucified on a cross in our place, and rose again, so that our relationship could be restored with the Father. No one understands our suffering better than God. Who are we to say that we could run this world better than God, or create our own earth where suffering does not exist? Because a world void of the potential of suffering is a world void of free will.

Years ago, my siblings and I sang this song at our church. As I reflected on the events of today, and of the approaching Christmas holiday, it came to mind, and I haven't been able to stop listening to it. I encourage you to give it a listen as well. It ties together our suffering, and how the world is desperately in need of Jesus, which is why He came down to earth. A good reminder this Christmas season. Our focus shouldn't be on the presents or commercialism, but on celebrating Jesus' birth and being thankful for our loved ones.

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

-C.S. Lewis

Always a Reason to be Thankful

Yes, I know, I'm a day late. I didn't intend to be, but yesterday was a bit rushed, between an early Thanksgiving meal with the family and then rushing to be to work by 2, and working til nearly midnight.

However, I wanted to take a moment to share some of the things that I am truly thankful for.

Being at Whitewater, where I've had so many incredible opportunities to grow and learn. And though I may have trouble remembering sometimes, I'm thankful for this crazy and challenging semester that often has me on the brink of insanity. It's pushed me to my breaking point, but I know now that I can and will survive, no matter how crazy life gets.

For my friends - old and new, near and far - who help me with homework, help me study, stay up with me to all hours of the night, make me encouraging posters, write me notes and stick them all over my stuff, send me encouraging texts and letters, give me hugs when I'm struggling to keep it together, make me laugh, share inside jokes with me, eat breakfast with me, pray with me and for me, offer a listening ear when I just need to talk, and challenge me to be the best that I can be. I am reminded again and again (and continue to be blown away by!) just how incredibly blessed I am with the amazing friends that I have. I honestly don't know what I would do without them.

Especially my roommate, who is absolutely the best!

As cliche as it may sound, I'm thankful for my family. They offer so much support to me through all the uncertainty of life, and all my crazy endeavors. I am blessed beyond belief to be surrounded by people who love me, because not everyone has that. And, of course, the family dog Toby, who is always excited to see me when I come home, and offers unconditional love.

I'm thankful for my jobs. I was incredibly blessed to be able to work at the Grand Cafe this summer, and build friendships with the people there. And it's an honor and a joy to be a Campus Assistant (tour guide!) at UW-Whitewater. It's not always easy, but it's always a lot of fun. It's not easy to find work these days, so I consider myself doubly blessed that not only was I able to find a job, but ones that I enjoy so much. And the vet clinic, which hopefully I'll be able to work at again soon, where I get to bestow my love for animals on willing recipients.

Being involved with InterVarsity is one of the things I'm most thankful for. I've learned so much from the individuals there. This year I'm an emcee, and being able to serve God and my chapter in that way has been phenomenal. I'm so excited for what this year is going to bring for the UWW IV chapter, and what God has already done. I am blessed to be a part of it!

And along with that, I am most thankful for God's mercy and grace, and the fact that He sent His Son to die for my sins. Every day brings new wonders, and I am constantly reminded of how much God loves me as He pours out His blessings on me, even though I don't deserve any of it.

To God be the glory.

And, last but not least, I'm thankful for the snow flurries today. I can't think of a more perfect way to start off the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

So, Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Here's to exciting new adventures, and making many more memories to be thankful for!

Dream Career

Undecided is the most popular major for incoming freshmen at UW Whitewater.
(And I'm sure a lot of other universities.)

It's about that time where I need to sit down and seriously consider what I want to pursue as my career. Or major, at the very least.

I've already ruled out a few options. Such as math. Or computer science. Or engineering. That's a step in the right direction...

Right?

Oh, what the heck. Maybe I'll just interview to become a sled dog after all.

Birthday Boy

Birthdays are always an exciting thing.

Today is my brother Caleb's birthday. Though he may not look like this anymore (I've grown up quite a bit too!), I thought it'd be a nice throwback to the good ol' days of cardboard box forts and carefree living.

And Mickey Mouse sweat suits.

It's hard to grow up and see your siblings head off in different directions. And it was especially hard for me to let go of Caleb. Not only is he closest in age to me, but we've been through a lot together. But I can't wish for what we once had; I have to look forward to all of the memories we're going to make in the future.

I didn't get to see the birthday boy today. But if, by chance, you see him, wish him happy birthday, and tell him I miss him.

'Cause I do.

Happy Birthday, bro.

May this year be filled with exciting new adventures.

Back to School

Remember when you were little, and that feeling you got the day before you went back to school? Excited to see all of your friends again, but nervous too, because although you'd gone through the drill before, it was a brand new year with brand new adventures, fears, and possibilities.

Well, that's how I'm feeling today.

Time to start my Sophomore year at Whitewater, and although I'm incredibly excited for what this year is going to bring, I've also got some pre-school jitters. Not only do classes start tomorrow, but I also start my job as a Campus Assistant, and I give my first official tour! Time to put my 2 weeks of training to good use.

But, I'd be lying if I said the thought of tomorrow didn't send butterflies flitting around my stomach.

I'm also coming to find that I put way too many things off until the last minute. Like getting my textbooks, for example, or organizing my room, stringing up Christmas lights, and practicing giving a tour.

Did I mention that I'm still trying to change my class schedule? 

Procrastination, it's a killer.

So, here's to the last day of my amazing summer, and the start of what looks to be an amazing 2nd year at Whitewater.

God bless us, every one!

Growing Up

It's crazy the places life takes you. It's been a year since I started at UW Whitewater, and now I'm back again. My whole world expanded, and I've met so many incredible people. Come the end of my freshman year, I thought I had grown up so much. This summer, my goal was to grow up even more. And it's funny looking back, because I see how much I still have to learn. For me, going home meant reverting back to being a child, and I didn't want to feel that way. But honestly, I have the most amazing parents, and they never gave me grief about being an independent college student. I am incredibly blessed.

I did grow up in some ways this summer. I didn't learn how to cook, go grocery shopping, and play the guitar like I wanted to, but I did learn other things. I worked a lot, and although being a server assistant in a restaurant is hard work, I loved it. It was intimidating at first, but I fell into place, and I also grew to love each and every one of my coworkers so much. Even though it wasn't always easy to love some of them, I tried to stay positive and encouraging. I hope they were able to see Jesus through me. Honestly, I miss it, which some might think is crazy, and maybe it is, but I know I got the job at the Grand Cafe for a reason. I learned a lot about hard work, and also about myself. I grew up in a different way than I was expecting, which is how life goes more often than not.

And now I'm back at school, training to be a Campus Assistant. This year I'll be a tour guide at UW Whitewater! This week has been jam-packed with information, and although it's a bit overwhelming now, I know I'm going to have a blast. My fellow CAs are amazing, and I'm so excited to be working with them. I mean, how often do you get the chance to play wheel chair basketball? Just sayin'.

Life may not always go the way you plan; my summer certainly had its ups and downs, but that just makes it more of an adventure. One thing I did learn is this: I'm only 19, and I don't have to grow up overnight. I still have plenty of time to figure things out, and sometimes, if need be, act like kid. Ultimately, I want to glorify God with everything I do with my life.

So, look out world. This sled dog is ready for her next adventure.

Chapter Focus Week

There's so much to be said about Chapter Focus Week, and yet I've put off writing about it for so long because it's difficult for me to find the words to do my experience justice. For starters, on May 12th, 11 individuals from InterVarsity - including me, but 13 including our staff - set out on an epic adventure to Cedar Campus in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. An 8 hour drive was the first step of our journey, and although I didn't get much sleep the night before, I drove my car with fearless tenacity the whole way. Luckily, I had a great group in my car that gave me lots of support. Good times.

Cedar Campus was absolutely beautiful, and the ladies and I were blessed with a cabin that had a bathroom connected to our room, a great view of the lake, and that was close to the Meeting Center. After arriving and having a few hours to settle in, we jumped right into the week. Now, I have to be honest - I didn't really want to go to CFW. I wasn't sure if I was going to walk away challenged, retreats come with a price tag, and I needed to work so I could pay for college. But at the last minute, everything fell into place so I could go, and I was determined to get the most out of it. For the week, we were separated into different "tracks." The members of our leadership team would meet together everyday to plan what InterVarsity would look like for the next school year. Those who were going to be small group leaders were in the small group leadership training track. I was in Mark I with 2 others from my InterVarsity chapter, and we went through and dissected the first 8 chapters of Mark. Talk about intense! I was never very good at manuscripting, which is a specific way of looking at the text and picking it apart (focusing on who, what, when, where, and how, and spotting any references to other parts of Scripture - we were provided colored pencils so we could color code our findings), so I was incredibly intimidated. Not to mention we were split up into 6 tables, and our table made up our small group for us to share and discuss with. I was way out of my comfort zone, but God knew that was exactly what I needed. Throughout the week, the overarching theme we focused on in Mark was Jesus' authority, and how that authority should have an affect on the way we live our lives.

In the large group meetings, our speaker Rick taught on Moses. He connected it to us by saying that Moses was destined for greatness but he didn't know it - we, on the other hand, know that God is getting us ready for greatness. After all, there are no insignificant roles in God's big picture. We need to find our identity in Christ and be faithful, humble, and willing to take risks.

Now, something that my chapter does that I absolutely loved was "Secret Encouragers." The first night we were there we all drew names, and we got to encourage that person all week. People came up with some creative ways to secretly encourage, and I know I had a blast with it. But my secret encourager blew me away by drawing me this picture. Sled dogs, of course, hold a special place in my heart, and this picture is such a great reminder to me that I have to obey my Master and follow His direction. Not only was this picture an encouragement and a challenge, but it also serves as a great reminder to all the things I learned during CFW, and how I grew so much closer with all the individuals that went.

Every night we had "chapter time," to meet up and catch everybody up on what we were learning in our tracks and see what thoughts our leadership team had for next year. There were plenty of laughs shared, but we also got incredibly vulnerable with one another. God moved. He broke our hearts for our campus. He challenged us to be intentional with our summers. And for me personally, He taught me to not write people off as being too far out of His reach. I was face-to-face with someone I had known from before, and I knew wasn't a Christian before, but it was amazing seeing the transformation, and God convicted me of how easy it is to give up on people. But even though we might give up on people, God doesn't, because of His great love for us!

After a week like this, it was hard to leave and say goodbye. I had an amazing time and learned so much. I'm excited for what the future holds. God is awesome. Life is an epic adventure.

Some highlights from the week: running into my small group leader Hannah from Summit, the girls serenading the boys cabin with "I'll Make a Man Out of You," hiking to Gnome Rock, hiking Narnia trail, being prayed for by my track leader, having group time out on the Floating Bear (the pontoon boat) one night despite the cold, being a rebel and going to the other side of the lake with Justin to eat dinner our last night, and jamming out in the party car.

With that, there's only one thing left to say...

Go team.